Ready for Your Love
by kuroneko-tyger
Summary: Sirius and Remus talk after one of Sirius' many nightmares. Set after the Goblet of Fire


centerReady for Your Love/center

centeriAN: I don't own anything. That includes the Harry Potter series as well as the song Ready for Your Love. These are by J. K. Rowling and Chantal Kreviatzuk respectively./i/center

centeri~ Lately I'm thinking

You've been such a good friend

Always listening to my heart

And my mind late at night~/i/center

"Sirius, Sirius, wake up!"

Sirius shot straight up in bed. There was a cold sweat on his face and his hands were clenched in his blankets. He saw Remus sitting on the edge of the bed looking tired and holding a candle.

"You were having a nightmare. I could hear you from my room." He looked away and yawned. "Was it ithem/i again, Padfoot?" He asked when he turned back.

Sirius blinked at his friend. Moony always seemed to know what his nightmares were --and what to do about them. He almost smiled when Remus offered his free hand and offered to make some hot chocolate for them.

Sirius accepted the werewolf's hand and untangled himself from his blankets. They got to the kitchen of Remus' small house and the owner of the house busied himself at the stove. Sirius reflected on all the things his dear friend had done for him this last week. Stuff like reminding him about the things he forgot or listening to him when he needed to talk. 

Remus' voice broke into his thoughts. "I don't know if chocolate will help against memories or not, but it certainly won't kill you." 

He delivered that statement with a grin. Sirius didn't miss the slight emphasis Remus put on the word imemories/i. He seemed to be under the impression that if he said that often enough then he could help Sirius to distance himself from what had happened. It was helping a little.

"Moony, I…" He paused. "I'd like to thank you for everything you've done for me. You've taken a wreck of a man and made him almost human again."

Remus gave him the Look. "You were always human, you just forgot."

"There are a lot of things I've forgotten. There was even more at first but you reminded me of them."

Remus blushed and took a drink hoping that Sirius didn't notice. No such luck.

"Why Moony! I do believe you're blushing!" Sirius had known Remus' feelings for him since he first came to Remus' house, but since Remus never said anything he'd not pushed it. At first it was because he didn't know what he, himself, was feeling. 

Remus glared at him but didn't deny it. And looking into Remus' eyes he found his answer.

centeri~We've been so frustrated

I know you've been so patient

Now I admit it            

I feel a synergy~/i/center

  
He reached across the table and cupped the side of Remus' face with his hand. "Why haven't you said anything to me about how you feel?" He asked quietly.

Remus took a deep breath. "I wasn't sure how iyou/i felt. I didn't want to pressure you into something."

"I don't understand. I iam/i grateful for all you've done to me, but if I didn't want you I wouldn't just let you have me."

Remus' blush returned. "That's not what I mean. What I meant was that if I came on to you at all you might think that's was the way things were before Azkaban." Sirius shuddered but didn't interrupt. "I was afraid that you might think that was the case and then resent me when your memories returned. Sirius, I've loved you since about year six. But we were never a couple." He looked down avoiding Sirius' eyes.

"I'd figured that. Otherwise you would have said something to me by now." Sirius paused. Now it was his turn to take a deep breath. "Do you still love me?" He held his breath.

"I never stopped." A bitter smile twisted his lips. "Oh, I did hate you when I thought you betrayed Lily and James. But I also loved you." 

Sirius let loose his breath and waited for Remus to continue. When he didn't he took another deep breath.

 "Guess it's my turn then." He muttered. "I can't say I felt anything for you in school, Remus, besides friendship. I just don't remember. I think I must have, all my happiest, dearest thoughts and memories were sucked away first. After a week I only remembered you as a nebulous person I once knew. The dementors couldn't take way the fact that I knew you; that isn't precisely a happy thought. They just took everything I felt about you."

centeri~I'm ready for your love

Here I am I'll be waiting and ready

I'm ready for your love

Oh I am read

I'm ready for your love

Yeah I am ready; I'm ready for your love

Ready for your love

Lately I'm feeling like a little girl

Daydreaming of being safe in your arms

Don't be scared, I'm scared too

But that's the best part

That's the best part of love

When it's brand new~/i/center

"I was afraid at first that all I was feeling was gratitude and that since I went so long without loving that I was mistaking it. It's like a blind man who can suddenly see but doesn't know what he is seeing. I could see the way you looked at me and I was scared that I was hurting you by not remembering something I should have. So I just pretended not to notice."

"It's okay. I don't blame you for not loving me." Remus, his dear Moony, said and pulled back a little, eyes looking down again.

"That's not what I meant! I ido/i love you Moony! I wasn't sure at first but I know now. I know how you make me feel when you look at me or talk to me. When you wake me up from a nightmare and listen to me ramble on about my problems without complaint…" he trailed off not sure if he should continue. Remus was looking at him again and there was a deep bitter pain in his eyes.

"Even the wolf part of me?" he asked cynically.

"Especially that! I accepted you a long time ago knowing who and what you were, why would that change? The only difference between me and you is that I can control when I turn into a dog and what I do during that transformation. But now with the Wolfsbane Potion you aren't dangerous, you are just as safe as me! Moony, please don't keep me out because of that."

centeri~I'm ready for your love

Oh I am ready

I'm ready for your love

You can have my love

I'm ready for your love

Oh so ready

I'm ready for your love

I'm ready for your love

I hope it's not too late

I didn't mean to make you wait 

For so long~/i/center

For the first time since he heard Sirius' screams an hour earlier Remus smiled. Hesitantly he reached across the table and took his love's hand. Sirius squeezed his hand. "I won't." He promised. "If… if you won't leave me." Sirius saw naked fear in his eyes and squeezed his hand again while thinking that he really must have hurt Remus when he was sent to Azkaban.

"I won't," he promised sincerely, with a genuine smile of his own.

centeri~Try to understand

I don't need an upper hand.

I just need to know that it's for real

Is it real?

Feels so real, so real, so real

I'm ready for your love

Here I am

I'm ready for your love

I'm finally ready

I'm ready for your love

I'm all put together for you

I want to share my love with you

I'm ready for your love~/i/center

"You know what, Moony?"

"What?"

"I don't even remember what my nightmare was about!"


End file.
